The imam spearheading plans for an Islamic center near the New York City site of the Sept. 11 terror attacks said Sunday that America’s sweeping constitutional rights are more in line with the true principles of Islam than the restrictions imposed by some Muslim regimes.

Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf told the Al Wasat newspaper in Bahrain that the freedoms enshrined by the U.S. Constitution also reflect true Muslim values.

 Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf told an Islamic newspaper in an Islamic nation that American Constitutionalism is more in tune with Islamic values than other Islamic factions? That doesn’t sound right. Somebody is skewing the facts; most likely those liberal news organizations pushing their extreme, culturally accepting agenda.

But this story was published in Haaretz, Israel’s oldest daily newspaper. Surely they aren’t Islamically biased. It was also published on Fox News, which we all know is a bit more factually based than other news organizations like…The Onion.

So maybe this story is the real deal. But who says this radical Imam is telling the truth? Who’s to say he isn’t simply placating the “Ground Zero Mosque” protesters for his own personal gain – to achieve his goal of infiltrating American society and converting Christians to Islam by way of the sword?  What better way to carry out  Jihad than to introduce a mosque to the site where thousands of people were killed by the very ideals this “community center” will promote? I’m still leery! But, what’s that? He said what?

“I think the major lesson that will come out of (American influence on Islam) is the increased democratization of our societies, our Islamic societies. The increased democratization of Islamic societies, and the sense of greater equality among people, whether on the basis of gender, the elimination of any vestiges of a class society…”

That doesn’t sound very radical. That doesn’t sound like a religious zealot out to topple America from the inside out. It sure doesn’t sound like someone who is trying disrespect the lives lost in 9-11. If anything, he sounds like a Republican, justifying the invasion of Muslim nations with predominantly western ideals.

So why would he say these things? It certainly isn’t to obtain the right to build a community center in lower Manhattan. Even the Evangelical Right will admit they already have that right, as no one is contesting the legality of the issue. It’s that complicated thing called morality that seems to be the problem.   So let’s talk about morality.

The U.S. Constitution was not created to appease anyone. It was not intended to be a cookie-cutter document to conveniently suit all religious beliefs. It was, however, founded on values that  were equally just for all persons. Most Americans recognize this simple fact, and are willing to put aside their own opinions in support for the Constitution, lest they be considered un-American for not supporting the fundamental American concepts set forth in that incredible document.

  Yes, I said un-American. It’s quite the politically charged word, I know. But that hasn’t stopped anyone from using it to describe others who have refused to support the U.S. Constitution based on personal “moral” beliefs. Al Gore called George W. Bush un-American for imprisoning American citizens without due process – a constitutional requirement. Rand Paul called President Obama un-American for “regulating private businesses,” referring to the President’s handling of the BP oil disaster. Critics of the Tea Party’s desire to change the Fourteenth Amendment call the notion un-American because, once again, they refuse to adhere to the Constitution.

So how does the belief that law-abiding, tax paying, American citizens who practice their faith peacefully should not “morally” build a community center anywhere they desire, despite what is set forth in the United States Constitution not qualify for being un-American? When have individual morals ever been expected to trump constitutional liberties? Never. That is why the Constitution was created as the ultimate law of the land. So religious indifference have no impact on the rights of American citizens.

So scream all you want. Bring the racist, hateful poster boards and continue to let your closed mind prevent you from seeing religion as something that should promote peace, not hate, because that is your right. It is your right to claim Jesus as your savior and slap him in his hairy face by screaming hate filled rants at fellow human beings wanting to practice their faith in a peaceful manner.

 These are your rights.  And I support these rights. It even says so in the Constitution.

Rolling

“Does the U.S. really need to advertise hospitals?” Rob asked, readjusting in his seat. His shifting hand gracefully commanded gears as we barreled through western New York.  “It’s not like there aren’t enough sick people to go around.” He spoke with a humble quietude usually reserved for Midwestern pastors, not bulky, bearded, Canadian truck drivers.

He had picked me up at a Flying J outside of Cleveland. I was being berated by the store manager about loitering and asking customers for rides when Rob politely interrupted him to offer me a lift to Buffalo. It was my third day on the road, and my first experience with being in limbo. I had waited at a nearby intersection for five grueling hours, thumb extended, counting clouds and politely waving at truckers who give me the I-would-if-I-could-but-company-policy-prohibits-picking-up-hitchhikers shrug.  Rob’s company has the same policies.

Rob liked to talk. But it wasn’t the bombastic, ego-centric fluff most middle-aged men produce. It was linear and developed, with long retrospective pauses between sets. We would exchange ideas, and then quietly reflect between vineyards and toll-booths. He spoke about his children -grown and in college- and his half-hearted attempts to protest at the G8 summit in Ontario. When the police showed up with riot shields and batons, he decided to go home. 

Rob was my twelfth ride, including the nickels and dimes through Chicago and Cleveland, and my second longest, next to the Romanian who got me from Rock Island to Minooka. He asked me, after a long introspective moment, why I was hitchhiking.

I had been waiting for this question since I started my trip, and up until this point, no one had asked. I got the occasional you’re brave to be hitchhiking this day in age and you don’t see many hitchhikers anymore, but never as forthright and blunt as Rob’s framing. I should have been giddy to respond, to wax poetic about the freedom of the road and momentarily leaving life behind, living the quintessential dream, experiencing Americana. But I didn’t.

After several days on the road, I had realized my ambitions were much more than a search for existential moments and adventure. And now, face to face with such a seemingly simple question, I realized I didn’t quite know the answer. The ambitions were real, yet my true motivations were still driving me from an unknown place within, shrouded and hidden between my naiveté and immature impatience. I had been so anxious to get out there, I had forgotten to find out why.

I told Rob I believed humans were inherently good, and that I was out to prove to myself, and everyone else, that I wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t a lie by any means, and certainly that was part of my decision to hitchhike to the coast. But when Rob dropped me off at a park in Buffalo, I gave my thumb a rest. Like Rob, I took a moment to look inside before asking myself, once again, why I had taken on this journey.

There’s a Hellenic tale that says when humans were created, we were fused together in an intimately perfect mass of limbs and flesh.  We were denied the ability to walk, but instead, rolled around in mobile unity, able to achieve amazing, inhuman speeds. This speed was magnificent, and gave us an increasing sense of courage and arrogance never before seen by the gods. So, in a desperate and futile attempt to keep us humble, Zeus struck us, forever separating us from our fellow humans. Our new destiny would be to face this world in solitude, with no tangible unity, and only ourselves to rely on for progress.

I think of this story often, and wonder what it would be like to never worry about dying alone. I wonder what it would be like to have a literal “other half” that knew every cherished detail about me – every unflattering crevice of our bonded body. I often wonder if, somehow, we are still connected by an unseen thread, still rolling at unfathomable speeds, but unguided and longing for some semblance of that original connection.

I brought this up to Deb and her husband, Paul. They seemed to be the type of people open to such an idea, with their box of vibration crystals and energy stones in the back seat, their harps in cases, piled and pressed against the headlining above me. I was crammed in the back of their Volkswagen, helplessly subjected to their curiously skeptical Corgi’s sniffing. Deb told me, rather matter-of-factly, that she receives messages from the “other side” to which I reacted with extreme skepticism. But then I realized a confused, melodramatic hitchhiker certainly has no room to judge. Paul was a Vietnam veteran who, at one point in his life, refused to wear any clothes that identified him as a former Marine. Until he met Deb. Now, he says, he’s proud of who he is, if not what he’s done. 

I told them I was out to find connections; to see what binds us all together. I rambled about creating social barriers, fear of people we don’t know, media-provoked panic and my desire to connect with other humans. They listened intently, offered me Amish apple bread, and helped me to better understand my purpose. When they dropped me off at a toll booth on interstate 80, they both hugged me. Not with stranger hugs or obligatory hugs, but with warm, comforting parental hugs that last long after release.

I got to the coast on a Friday morning. The fog in Boston was oppressive and hiding the ocean, but I knew it was there. I smoked cigarettes and called family and friends with final updates, letting them know I had achieved my goal.  I missed my sons and my girlfriend.  I was ready to go home.

People ask me what I learned on my adventure, and I still don’t have a solid answer. Maybe I confirmed that humans were still kind, but deep down, I believe I already knew that. Maybe I was purging my system of whatever childhood fantasies I once had about being free of the humdrum routines of society. I’m not sure. But one thing is certain: we are all still rolling –  sometimes at inhuman speeds, most times inching forward. And while the gods may have done their best to make us humble, they did not succeed in breaking our ties.

Winter People

She’s a winter person

like me.

She appreciates encompassing afghans

and violently stomping wet boots

 into carpet.

We met in autumn

and fell in love in snow

building unbalanced men

with giant heads

to the sounds of small, laughing mouths

and me, falling over myself for a hug

or a wet handshake.

It’s summer now,

which I can’t say is unfair

but as I kiss her collar bone

and pale knees

I like to think that somewhere,

it’s snowing.

A Rarity

I see them and hear them
every second of every day.
they surround me
at the grocery store
and the gas station
spewing ashy grey words
and reeking of mediocrity
at best.
what nice weather we’re having
the traffic is terrible
have you lost weight?
long time no see
who did the braves trade?
oh these gas prices
and it goes on
and on and on
and on until each one
becomes another and
their faces are like
humming chicken eggs.
some are brown and some
are big and some are extra-large
grade A
but they all have the same goo
inside
and their humming is one off key
vibration giving me a life long
headache.
But every once in a while
I see a face
hear a face
and it speaks
a language I understand.
Every once in a while
the humming stops
and the eggs all go away
and I can communicate
with someone
using words
and thoughts.
Every once in a while.

Nirvana

His shirt is unbuttoned
his feet are bare
His mustache is still military regulation
has been for years.
He drags on a cigarette
holds a bottle of beer
while Connie Francis wails from
the kitchen of his yellow
trailer.
There are stains on his slacks
on his walls
his fingers
the floor.
Stains everywhere
ugly browns and greys
sticky and oily and
smelly
Many times he sat
in this very chair-
wanting
wanting
wanting
a friend
another cigarette
a cat
or one more bottle
of anything.
For years he wanted
more
than this.
More than disappointment
failure,
overdrawn accounts,
foreclosures,
parking tickets,
custody battles,
two-week notices,
wives,
girlfriends,
restraining orders,
cuts
bruises
lottery tickets
and lunch meat sandwiches.
He is tired of wanting
and tonight
he will be
happy.

Ellie

Always late, or too early when

she looks at me with eyes of chocolate pudding

that say “it’s time.”

We walk as one, obvious in our cohesion

yet blatantly separate, lonely. 

 No chain or rope tether us.

  Only our swirling breath

rising and meeting under sterile trees

and yellow street lights.

7 Steps to Ultimate Happiness and a Better World

The American people are outraged! They are jobless and poor and bitter and disenchanted and flat-out pissed off at American politics as we know it and goldarnit, they aren’t going to take it anymore! They are hard working,blue-collar, anti-elitist, newly reformed conservatives who want to change the change that changed after the change. Right?  Someone? Anyone? Isn’t that what’s going on? Surely it is!

 They have opened their eyes to the reality of the political arena and can’t be fooled anymore. They have had their moment of clarity, and now is their chance to act on it! It’s time to end the tyranny.

After all, Sharia law is taking over American cities as Sharron Angle claims, and that is straight B.S. my friends. Obama is a communist, too. Oh, oh, and gay people are infringing on our family values! Yeah, and terrorists are building a secret air traffic control center in their stupid little mosque on top of dead 9-11 victims! This world is going somewhere folks, and I guarantee, it will be in a handbasket!

Okay, did you believe any of that? Did you even slightly take offense to the mocking tone and sarcastic subtleties? If you did, allow me to do some stereotyping myself. You, I would say, are white. And currently not on welfare, disability, WIC, medicare, medicaid, social security, or unemployment and you are making 500 grand a year or better.

Wait, you don’t fit into the rich, white, privileged category? So you don’t have any logical reason to be a right stumbling conservative? That’s okay. You aren’t a bad person, stop freaking out. There’s still help for you, but you have to want it. I can’t do it all for you! In order to free yourself from this brain-slushifying stupor, you must follow my 7 step program. Are you ready?

Step 1.  Put down the Bible. There’s no room for it in the political field. Law books take up too much space.

Step 2. Stop watching this guy.

Step 3. Stop listening to this guy.

Step 4. Find someone who is down and out and talk to them. Someone whose daughter is dying from Leukemia, or someone who lost a brother in Afghanistan. Listen to them, and do your damnedest to understand their plight… and then tell them they shouldn’t get help from the government. Tell them socialism is a four-letter word. And then run, fast. Your mind should change shortly.

Step 5. Get a cat. They embody every value a true liberal should have. They love to be touched, leave a clean environment, demand entitlements from their superiors and they love green herbs….like catnip.

Step 6. Save some money by giving up your health insurance. Then wait. It may not be right away, but eventually, you will get sick. And then you will have to choose whether you should risk the illness and pull yourself up by your self-made bootstraps or spend the 1500 dollar out-of-pocket expense you will be forced to pay. Then reflect on step 4.

Step 7. Stop watching Foxnews.  Then get your free sticker at www.turnofffox.org. Liberals love free things.

Once you’ve completed these simple steps, you should start to see a major change in your life. You will start thinking in a benevolent way, and (believe it or not) it will feel good to want to help people. Political rallies will be more fun (gay people really know how to handle a political sign).  And finally, you will have a better existence as a liberal because everyone knows liberals have better sex. And if sex doesn’t sway you, you’re probably sterile, in which case, stay a conservative. We don’t want you here anyway.

Sam Seder weighs in on “Ground Zero Mosque” in a new episode of That’s Bullshit

Nay to Gay, but KKK OK?

Recently, an Army National Guardsman and Arabic translator who openly challenged the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, was recommended for discharge by a military administrative board because he has publicly said that he is gay. Yet a watchdog group claims dozens of US military personnel have been spotted on a white supremacist social networking Web site in an apparent violation of Pentagon regulations prohibiting racist extremism.

The Southern Poverty Law Center, a hate-group watchdog based in Alabama, will present a report to Congress today and urge them to investigate evidence “that racial extremists are infiltrating the U.S. military in order to ensure that the armed forces are not inadvertently training future domestic terrorists.”

Over 12,500 service members have been discharged from the military based on their sexual orientation. Our military has gone to great lengths to prevent gays from enlisting and hunting down and discharging those that have already enlisted, yet there is no comprehensive prevention measures for individuals belonging to a white supremacy/hate group? Where exactly do our priorities lie?